A Year of Marriage

I cannot believe that it has officially been one year since the day I said 'I Do' to the most incredible man on the entire earth. The last 365 days have flown by, full of unforgettable memories, laughs, tears and hugs. I have learned so many things about Joshua and about marriage over the course of a year that I narrowed down to a few major lessons.

1. Communication is Key
Before I got married, I thought Joshua and I had this figured out. We had focused on our communication for quite awhile through our dating years so I thought that we would have it down by the time we were married, but I have never been so wrong. It's so easy to think that the other person knows exactly what you're thinking at any given moment. With that mindset, you find that they upset you a lot more because you figure they're doing it on purpose since they should know exactly what's going on in your mind. 9 times out of 10, they don't know what your expectations are or what you're thinking, and they don't mean to upset you. The more you communicate what's on your mind, the more likely things are to work out. A great example of this happened just last week. Joshua had left his clothes on the floor one day and I decided to bring it up to him. I didn't want him to think I was angry so I decided to go with a sarcastic approach so that it would seem less serious and so that he didn't feel like I was trying to attack him. Little did I know, Joshua does not respond well to sarcasm. He didn't tell me this until just a few days ago, but it was so important that he sat me down to tell me that. If he hadn't told me, I would've probably continued to approach him sarcastically, making him more upset. Though I wasn't trying to make him upset, I did. By sitting down and talking about it, he understood my expectations as far as clothes being on the floor, and I learned how to best talk with him about things like clothes on the floor and beyond.

2. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
Let the little things go. At the end of a long day, tired and worn out, it's easy to let something insignificant come between both of you. Unless it is something that has been going on for quite some time and needs to be talked about, it isn't worth the fight. I learned to ask myself if this was a problem that I was still going to be upset over tomorrow. If not, let it go and move on. If I still thought it needed to be brought up, it was more effective to wait until the next morning when I wasn't in a bad mood and I could discuss something without becoming angry. However, as a general rule, I learned that getting angry over small things just wasn't worth it.

3. Be Their Support System
I have had some crazy ideas , goals and dreams over the course of a year. I think I have had three different ideas for a career after college, considered quitting college probably seven different times, wanted to try different jobs other than Starbucks, and have had quite a few hobbies start up and fall through over a year. However, throughout it all, Joshua was right there cheering me on, supporting me, and offering to help with these goals and dreams in any way possible. He probably knew in the back of his mind that half of these ideas would never work out, but he still supported all of them and that meant the world to me.
Being the person to stand beside them no matter the situation is key. Whether it be the best days, the worst days, the most realistic goals, or the craziest dreams, being their #1 supporter is so important. I can't tell you how many times I got frustrated and wanted to quit classes and Joshua said to me "If you want to quit, I will support you. I believe in you and I know you could finish school if you wanted to, but I support you know matter what you decide" and that was exactly what I needed from him.

4. You Cannot Find Fulfillment in Them
Especially during the first couple of months, it felt like Joshua was everything I could possibly need and more. As time went on I realized more and more that Joshua is not perfect (though he is as close to perfect as a person can get) and neither am I. Fulfillment can only be found in Jesus. Purpose can only be found in Jesus. I found that when I looked for those things in Joshua, I was let down because he is only human. My marriage is an image of the love Christ has for me, not an earthly replacement of it. Finding fulfillment and purpose in Christ allows me to experience Joshua's love for me more fully and love Joshua more fully.

I still have so much to learn and I can't wait for all of the experiences that will teach me new lessons to make me a better wife and have a more God-honoring marriage. I could brag about Joshua forever because he has made it so easy to be a wife. People told us that the first year is the hardest (which is kind of frustrating, like setting us up for disaster, though I see why they might want to warn us) but Joshua made it such an easy year. Though a lot of things were far from perfect, though many days ended in tears and many mornings started with them, Joshua made each day easy because of how hard he worked to make our marriage better everyday. I am so incredibly thankful for him and his dedication to Christ, to me and to our marriage.
Marriage is far from easy, but it's what you make of it. If you give into anger and sin, your marriage will reflect it. If you make an effort everyday to love each other, encourage one another and be kind to one another, marriage is fun and wonderful. I'm obviously no expert on marriage yet but I've learned this this much so far. This year has been incredible and I can't wait for so many more of them.

The Wedding Series: DIY/Decor

The best part about my wedding day was seeing all of the final pieces come together, all the little details that I spent time working on over the course of the last five months. Beyond the dress, the venue and the food were all the best parts of the wedding that really put the whole day together.

Having a wedding on a budget meant DIY decorations galore. I wanted to spend as little money on the decorations as possible while still sticking to my theme and having décor that I really loved.

1. Family Tree

I knew right away that I wanted to somehow incorporate the people that came before us. This was especially important to me because my husband and I came from different parts of the country, meaning our family and friends had never really met before. Incorporating our family history allowed our guests to get to know where we came from.

I bought a bunch of frames from thrift stores and filled them with pictures of our parents, their parents and their parent's parents. I nailed them up to the trees that led down to the ceremony area. This way it showed the generations that came before the one we were celebrating today, plus it gave the guests something to look at and enjoy while they made their way down the trail to the ceremony.

The sign brought the whole idea together and was designed by a super creative and talented friend of mine,  Katelyn Kozak. Pro-tip #1: Use the talents and services of your friends and family. They often cost less and do an even better job. Plus, it gives them a chance to advertise the things they can do.

I loved how this turned out and it cost me a total of $20!

2. Cake Topper

I touched on this in my post about the cake but just to cover it again, I paid about $100 total for my cake. I had it made my a grocery store bakery for $75, added my own strawberries and fake flowers, and made my own cake topper.

The letters were made on pieces of cardstock that I cut out in a <> shape and folded over a piece of string. I used tape on the insides to ensure that they didn't slide down the string. The string was then tied between two pieces of wire to hold it up. It took minutes to make and looked so cute on top of the cake. Mine said "Mr. & Mrs." but you could make it say whatever you'd like. You could even make multiple banners for multiple layers of the cake!

3. Lining the Sidewalk

This was a last minute idea that my mom and I had while walking through Hobby Lobby. I'm so glad I decided to add these in because it added a small, dainty detail that cost me almost nothing. I bought dowels from Hobby Lobby and used 4" by 4" sheets of paper that matched my theme from a little cardstock pack. I simply used a stencil to trace and cut out hearts, put two horizontal slits in each one, and put them on the dowel. I made six of these that lined the sidewalk that led to the Family Tree. These cost me less than $10 to make.

4. Flowers

Featuring my beautiful niece. With the help of my mom and my aunt, I made all of the flower bouquets for myself and my bridesmaids. The bouquets featured larger white flowers and baby's breathe. Using floral tape and wire, we created these gorgeous flowers. While this was still one of the more expensive DIY's, it was still way cheaper than buying fresh flowers or even having bouquets designed by a florist. The total cost was around $100, give or take. Pro-tip #2: If you are going to buy fake flowers, wait until there is a sale on florals to buy the things you need since you won't have to make your bouquets at any specific time throughout the wedding planning process.

*all photos in The Wedding Series courtesy of Laura Nicole Photography

KC: Memorial Day

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI
MEMORIAL DAY
5/30/16

If you find yourself in KC in the future, these places are definitely worth seeing. Crown Center is mainly a shopping area but the little pizza shop had some of the best pizza I have ever tasted. If you're going to be here over the lunch hour, make sure to stop there. The aquarium across the street is about $20 per person, but it is worth every penny. It was so beautiful there and I highly recommend checking it out! Lastly, Union Station was my favorite stop. Being there for Memorial Day was a real treat because of the special tributes to veterans set up where you first walk in, but it is always a stunning place to see.
This was our first full weekend here in KC. We are in love with everything this city has to offer and can't wait for all the adventures to be had!