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Tuesday, March 22, 2016

The Wedding Series: The Food and Cake


One of the questions I get asked most when talking about my wedding is whether or not I had food. There is a misconception that food is too expensive when it comes to having a wedding for as little money as possible. But I really wanted to have a meal at my wedding because there is nothing that brings people together more than food. During the planning stages, I could already picture my guests talking and getting to know one another around a table of delicious food, and I knew that I needed to find an inexpensive way to have a meal at my wedding.

I knew right away that catering was out. It's way too expensive. So, I began thinking of meals that wouldn't take too long to prep, but would still be something that at least most of my guests would enjoy. I settled on pasta, salad and bread. The pasta was set up against a wall in the room where people walked up to get it, and the salad and bread was kept at the tables.

One of the greatest things about your wedding day is that people around you want to help out in any way possible. Some women at my church that I have known and loved for years prepared and served the food at my wedding. Now, I paid them, but there are probably people in your life that would be willing to help in this area of your wedding day free of charge. Don't be afraid to ask, and if they do want to be paid for their work, it's guaranteed to be cheaper than a catering company, and the food will most likely taste better. :)

If your reception is later in the day, the food might be able to be prepared at home and transported to the reception area. It can be kept warm in dishes like the ones pictured above. Utilize your reception space if you can. If your venue has a kitchen and will allow you to use it, you can prepare or at least keep your food there until the time of the reception. Rallying together some family and friends to help make food for your day will save you a lot of money, and, like I said before, the food will be delicious. Choose food that can be made cheaply and easily, like pasta or some kind of baked dish.

My other food concern was the cake. I had my cake made by a bakery in a grocery chain here in the Midwest. I found some inspiration on Pinterest and they made it for less than $100. The main goal here was to get a cake for cheap and decorate it on my own.

The bakery made the actual cake, and I added on strawberries and Baby's Breath on my own, which would have cost about another $30 for them to add on. Not only did this save me money to use for something else, but I was able to make my cake look exactly how I wanted.
 
As for my guests, I wanted to do something a little different. Another idea I found on Pinterest (Pinterest will be your best wedding planning friend if you can't tell already) was a pie bar for the guests. I loved this idea because I could have all different kinds of pie to suit every guest. Plus, it was something I had never seen at a wedding before. My mom, grandma and aunt made all the pies the day before the wedding. This saved a lot of money on buying extra cake or cupcakes from the bakery. From what some of my guests told me, the pie as a hit and so was the food.  

If having food is still too much for your budget, or it isn't an important aspect of your reception for you, you can always just stick with desserts! You could have some kind of food bar that matches your theme. For example, if you have a wedding in the fall or winter, you could have a s'mores bar, a wedding in the summer could have an ice cream sundae bar or a popcorn bar. This way, you still have food that people will love and remember, but won't cost you a bunch of money. If you plan your wedding at a time of day that isn't around meal time, you don't have to worry about feeding them anyway!

However, if you're like I was, food is an important part of your big day. If that's you, using these tips will help you save money and keep your wedding under $2,000. I loved being able to have dinner at my wedding, and I loved that it didn't cost me very much to make it happen.



Monday, March 14, 2016

What Our Culture Won't Tell You About Porn

This post is written by a friend who has personally struggled with the issue of pornography. I asked her to write about this because she has such a heart and passion for people who have struggled or are currently struggling with the lie that is pornography. This is an issue that needs to be talked about more, especially among young women as it is stereotypically seen as a problem only men deal with.
 
I’m 17 years old, a junior in high school, enjoying a sleepover with my best friend. Girl talk leads to serious talk, which leads to her opening her computer. That night was my first exposure to pornography, and I’m sad to say it was far from my last. Thus began my struggle.

That’s why I’m writing this article, that’s why I care so much, it’s because I’m not looking at this struggle from somewhere on the other side of the playing field. I’m not disconnected from this battlefield. I don’t preach to you as someone inexperienced with the temptation. I’m here, fighting with you. Fighting for my purity and for my mind. I’m the reason I can promise you this isn’t just a guy’s issue anymore. I’m the reason I know that more people that you comprehend struggle with porn. Our motivations may be different than guys, but the struggle is the same. 

There are some things I want you to know, some costs I want you to count before you watch pornography. You can chalk this whole article up to my religious background, but I can tell you I’ve suffered non-religious consequences. 

1-- Porn is addicting. Once you start, you will not want to stop. Like other addictions it gives you an outlet for your pain, your boredom, or whatever else leads you into destructive behaviors. Before you know it, every time you feel a negative emotion you will be drawn to porn. 

2-- Your self-image will be damaged. You can’t stare at perfect women having perfect orgasms and expect it not to take a toll on how you see yourself. Watching porn is an open door to you not only objectifying other women, but objectifying yourself. You will see your every imperfection and you will forget to have grace for yourself. It will hurt, and some days it will make it hard for you to leave the house. If you’re watching porn, I can almost guarantee you struggle with body image. It feeds on your sense of worthlessness and threatens to consume you. 

2b-- Social anxiety will arise. Anxiety you never had before, and it’s closely tied with your growing insecurity. You’re afraid people will know or find out what you’re doing behind closed doors. You’ll analyze other women, you’ll barely be able to express yourself around them. You’ll become a shadow of who you know you can be, 

3-- Your tastes will develop and shock you. Porn by nature is a gateway, as you watch it, you’ll have to watch more to get the same high. It will have to be new and different to satisfy. Until the point that you shock yourself at what you watch. You’ll be ashamed, but desperate for a sense of relief. As you try to quit because you’re disgusted with yourself your stress will double, like an addict going through withdraw. 

This is a fight we as women cannot ignore any longer. I promise if you aren’t watching porn, someone close to you is deep in the struggle. Let us not close our eyes anymore and marginalize ourselves from the problem. It’s real and it’s here. I heard a quote once from a college professor that said “You’re only as sick as your darkest secrets” as long as you hide in the dark this addiction will always be on the verge of consuming you. It will drive you farther and farther until you barely recognize yourself. I urge you to find help, find someone you trust, and don’t allow this to steal your joy any longer. There is peace and healing to be found. Chase after the light!

Fight!
 
If you would like information about the author, please feel free to email me at m.mccaughey2@hotmail.com
 
If you would like more information about the effects and dangers of pornography use, please visit Fight the New Drug
 

Monday, March 7, 2016

The Wedding Series: Wedding Party Attire


Part of saving money on a wedding is saving money for the other people involved, particularly, your bridesmaids and groomsmen.  “Proper” wedding etiquette says that your bridesmaids and groomsmen will pay for their own dresses and tuxes. However, if you are paying for all or part of their wedding day attire it can be helpful to save money in this area. If they do end up paying for it themselves, they will really appreciate being able to spend less money on their wedding day attire. 


Something that was really important to me in planning my wedding was creating a very laidback atmosphere, both for the guests and for the wedding party. I didn’t want it to be too formal, and I found that staying away from fancy actually saved me money.  Places like David’s Bridal are expensive and generic. Your bridesmaids are likely to be all different sizes and finding one dress that looks good on all of them can be nearly impossible. Because of that, I let my bridesmaids choose their own dresses from whatever place they wanted. I gave them a few guidelines; it should be somewhere on the pink/blush/nude color spectrum and should be about knee length. Other than that, they were free to choose a dress that they liked and that fit them well. The only thing that matched was our nude colored flats from Target, which most of my bridesmaids already owned anyway.

For the men, Joshua picked out a pair of navy pants from Gap that he wanted all of the boys to get which cost $60. He also picked out a bow tie and suspenders that only cost $10. Otherwise, he asked them to wear a white dress shirt and brown shoes which were things most of the boys already owned.
 

I loved this because everyone matched, but they all had something different from everyone else, giving each person their own special touch. Not only would this have saved us money if we were buying the attire for them, but it saved them money and allowed them to purchase things they actually liked and that fit them well. If there is one tip that I would pass onto a bride and groom choosing their wedding party attire, it would be to forget the tuxes. They’re expensive and difficult to fit correctly to each person in your party. And, they don’t even get to keep it at the end of the day! Not to mention how much of a hassle it is to pick up and return tuxes from a rental place. Let your party invest in something that they can keep for longer than one day!


Brides, you can still make a day out of it! Take all of your bridesmaids out to go pick out their dresses together. All of my bridesmaids looked beautiful, and the groomsmen looked so handsome! I was so unbelievably happy with how their outfits turned out! Not only did I end up loving how they looked, but my wedding party also appreciated being able to, for the most part, choose their own clothes. You will not regret letting your wedding party have a say in what they wear for your big day. Not only will it make the wedding planning process easier for you, but also for the bridesmaids and groomsmen!